The Eds Remain Living
by I'm-Happy
Summary: The Eds and Kevin fall into a portal that leads to Cartoon Network World. Then cartoon network characters devour the Eds like sacks of patatoes. rn[PG-13 for some violence, some language and thematic material.] rnHol
1. Default Chapter

**The Eds meet Cartoon Network.**

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One day in an eager world lived Ed... "Hi, that's me".... Double Dee... "Sallitations"... and Ed. "Huh huh, gravy." These 3 young boys are not just friendless, but they're thin and dumb like a wood branch, especially Ed... the dumbest of 'em all. But how do these boys survive through Kevin's nickname? "Dork. Dork. Dork." The slang name called "Dork" has been said by Kevin over 50 times a day. He's made a record, the one whose said "Dork" the most a day averagely: 89. "89?" askes Kevin in delight, "89?!" "Oh, yes, Kev," said the host, "you win as by your name will be submitted in the Guiness Book of World Records." He chuckled. "Wow," said Kevin hestitantly... he paused and stared blankly at nothing for a moment, all surprised... he kind of fainted.

Then the host waved his hands over Kevin to wake him up, or if he's dead. Then the stage guard held and poured an enormous bucket of water over Kevin... still leaving Kevin staring blankly at nothing. Then the Eds appeared at the studio. Then Kevin woke up when he heard the sound of the Eds coming through. "What the heck's Kevin doing here?" asked Ed, "well, Eddy. It seems Kevin has been in the show The Guiness Book of World Records: The TV Show, Eddy," answered Double Dee. "Ok," responded Ed.

"Those Eds!" yelled Kevin, he got his fist ready, the stage people were frightened. They bited their fingers. "God," yelled a man quietly in the back. "Hi, Kevin!" greeted Ed in a big gullible voice. "Ed you lump," roared Eddy. "What the hell?" yelled Kevin. "Those Eds!" Kevin got an explosion of a bomb exploding in his eyes, steam coming out from his ears, extra gray. His eyes were growing, wide and tall as a dinner plate, getting in immense whopper-sized anger. He was very angry.

"Damn it!" yelled Kevin to the studio people, "those dorks are here to mess up our damn show." "Crap," cussed Kevin. Then Kevin accendentaly fell into a portal that appeared out of nowhere. Kevin screamed, it faded when he fell in more deep. "What happened to Kevin?" asked Double Dee. "Ed... Kevin's gone—let's celebrate" yelled Eddy. Then the Eds went into the portal just for the heck of it. "What the--?" said a studio manager.  
  
_Tune in for the next chap._


	2. Double Dee is Killed

"OK. What just happened here?" asked a man. "I don't know, but I knew that a portal sucked them in Cartoon Network World," told the stage guard in a gruff voice. "It seems they'll be gone forever," sadly said the man with a gruff voice, he sighed. In the portal, the Eds were screaming... finally, they landed in a truck full of choclate frosting. Then Ed found a big chicken inside there. "Chicken!" yelled Ed in excitement, "chickens." Ed laughed and ran around the chicken, he was quite curious about the chicken. "Guys...," sadly said Ed. "Let's play chicken!" yelled Ed happily. "Ed. We don't even know where we are." Said Eddy. "Hey, dorks?" asked Kevin, "where are we?" "Kevin! We don't even know where we are for God's Sakes," yelled Eddy. "Fine—whatever," said Kevin wondering what's going on. Kevin looked unhappy and sad like he was going to cry. He weeped a couple of moments. "Ugh," groaned Eddy, "now we have to take care of Kev... God." Then Double Dee found a piece of choclate from the floor... searching and searching. It wasn't choclate, it was Popeye's pipe. Popeye suddenly appeared and grabbed the pipe quickly from Double Dee's hand. "Did I just discover a sailor in this world?" asked Double Dee to himself, "my lord." Then at the studio, the host was walking around and around and around "where are the Eds?" "Crap," said the studio guard with a gruff voice, "this really sucks." "What?" asked the host. "Where can we find another portal huh?" asked the gruff voiced studio guard. At the cartoon nerwork world. There was a cartoon network war. Courage the Cowardly Dog was their sucking his butt. Then Courage realized Double Dee was there. Courage was really hungry... he didn't want to eat Double Dee, but it was the only thing he can eat. Courage panted in hunger. He couldn't wait another second for food, so he jumped to Double Dee and bited his shoe off, "ahhh!" screamed Double Dee, "get off of me!" Then Courage the Cowardly Dog bit off Double Dee's leg, then Courage shoved every bit of Double Dee in his stomache, chugging it down like animals, hungry as can be. 


	3. Popeye, A Loser?

"Where's Double Dee?" asked Eddy. "Uhhh...," said Ed, "hmm." Then behind Ed  
was Popeye. Popeye sighed, but he was a hungry sailor. He tries to cut off  
the yucky spinach, but now he's headed for pure, blood-filled meat... meat.  
Just meat, nothing could be better. Then Popeye disagreed with himself, "un-  
un," he protested to himself. But then he looked at Ed again, looking at  
his juicy yellow head, Popeye was imagining how tasty could it be, Popeye  
was in the "maybe" agreement, but for some reason he doesn't want to eat  
Ed, but if he could he would. But Popeye knew he would go to the death  
penalty for that, so Popeye turned his back over Ed. "Ed, where's Double  
Dee?" asked Eddy. "I don't know," told Ed. "All I see is a fat dog... the  
size... of... Double Dee...," said Eddy hestiantly. "A fat dog?" said Eddy. "Did  
the dog just ate Douba Dee?" asked Eddy. Popeye knew it was wrong, but he  
got a fork, spoon, pepper bottle, salt bottle, condiment-o-rama and much  
more to feast on Ed's noggin/body. Then Popeye sprinted out of the bushed  
and suddenly sucked on Ed's noggin eating anf feasting it. He laughed  
maniacally. "Ed!!" yelled Ed.

**TUNE IN F0R NEXT CHAPTER.**


	4. Barney: The Dinosaur Asshole

"Oh God," said Eddy, "this sucked more than anything that has sucked before." "Holy Christ," said Kevin, "where's your dork buddies?" giggled Kevin, "hmm!?" "W-w-w-well, Kevin. They have been devoured by animals. Those Eds haven't lived till they drunk my copious cup of hot chocalate, now they're dead and they'll never return, I mean—heck, when will they come back?" asked Eddy. "Crappy speech, you turd," said Kevin, he walked on the path, leading to a person in black. "Uhm, uh?" quivered Kevin, "what the heck's that?" asked Kevin. "What the heck is that, you say? It's...," said Eddy, but then he realized he wasn't a cartoon network character. Was he Barney? Was he... wait, was he Barney. "Barney!?" yelled Kevin, "that lard- ass lives in Cartoon Network world?" Then Barney came closer to Ed & Kevin... closer, closer, closer... "stay back, dude, what have I ever done to you," said Kevin. "Jeez, guy. I-I, never did anything to you do but boycott your show—I mean..." "Crap," said himself. "Gotta get the heck out of here," said Kevin. "It's me Kevin!" yelled Barney in excitement. "Holy sh... it's Barney," yelled Eddy. "Gimme a hug," said Barney. "We're F-ed," said Kevin, "f-ed." At the studios, the stage manager called the information center. "Hello?" said the information center coworker. "Well, dude. Some portal sucked Kevin and these other little arse-holes, I mean "assholes" & THEY'RE GONE," cried the stage manager. The information man sighed. "Yeah, this is a lie, hmm?" told the man. "Damn! I not lying," said the stage manager. "Notice you have bad grammar?" "NOO!!!" yelled the man. Then the information man held up, and the stage manager weeped, in the Cartoon Network World, Eddy and Kevin were captured by Barney, he laughed evilly. TUNE IN NEXT! 


	5. Kevin & Eddy Escape

"Oh, crap," shouted Eddy in a brig. "Dang, Eddy. This sucks, if we work togheter we can think of a plan to get the f-(bleep) out of here, know what I mean?" asked Kevin. "Well.... no!" yelled Eddy. "Eddy!" yelled Kevin shocked, "then how the bloody heck can we get out of here for God's Sake, huh?" "Uh... dig a mote?" asked Eddy. "No!" shouted Kevin in anger, "we need to work togheter and use your braces to slice through the bars of the brig," he said again, yet more concerned. "Hmm," said Eddy, "ok." Kevin whooped breifley. Then Eddy shushed him, concered. Then Barney's shadow panned on the door, the sound of broken floor wood creaking, Barney was visiting the jailcell. "Hey, yahoos. Or should I say two-bit losers?" yelled Barney. "Now why the bloody hell didn't you wanna be my friend, heh?" asked Barney. "F-f-friend?" stuttered Kevin, "now why the hell would I make friends with a doltish loser with a girly named Barney? Picking daisies and acting like a lunatic, asshole wannabe..." said Kevin. Barney had an angry look on his face. "Darn it, dudes!" yelled Barney, "I want to be your gosh damn friend 'cause I have NO friend," explained Barney. "See? That BJ was just an actor for a two-bit lousy goofball crap," told Barney. "I don't care," screeched out Kevin. "Yeah, dumb-ass," said Eddy. "D-U-M-B-A-S-S?" said Barney, yes, it was a question. Barney exitted the room. Eddy and Kevin where both whispering. Kevin grunted while trying to find a boomerang in his pocket. And later, he found it by digging his toys out. "Grab this, Eddy," said Kevin. "Whatever you say, crony." Said Eddy. "Crony?" asked Kevin. Kevin spung the boomerang and when it flew out, he abruptly grabbed it, when he jumped. Barney appeared back in the room, munching a donut with glazed frosting. He shouted muffledly and dropped the donut, then he spitted it out. "Damn!" yelled Barney. Then the boomerang cutted the bars and flew out the window with Kevin and Eddy hanging on it. Barney yelled. Outside, Barney was trying to catch Kevin and Eddy on the boomerang, but it was too darn diffucult for him to grab it. Barney left and went inside. He dialed the extereminator to catch Kevin and Eddy and put them in a bigger, saffer and harder-to-escape jail cell. 


	6. Satan Eddy & Kevin in Hell

When Kevin and Eddy found a portal in the air, they jumped into it, then they fell and fell and fell through the hole, a couple miles down, they suddenly thumped on their butts and found Hell. Then Satan introduced himself to Kevin and Eddy. "What the hell?" asked Eddy. "Hell," said Satan. Then Satan introduced Johnny Bravo to them. "Heh hih hoh! Check the pecs," he said. "What an "F"-off," said Satan. "Check them damn pecs," said Johnny. "Not now!" yelled Satan. Kevin quivered, "Satan... what are we doing with a devil?" asked Kevin. "Satan?" asked Eddy. "Yes, now shut the HECK UP!" yelled Satan. Then Eddy found a burning rock and hitted Satan. "Curse you, mutant S.O.B.," shouted out Satan. "Hmm hmm," said Kevin. "Dang you!" yelled Satan. Then Johnny Bravo said this in Kevin's pair of ears: "Kevin, how the HECK can we get out of here?" "Dunno," told Kevin. "Crap!" said Johnny Bravo. Satan then exitted Hell and went into Heaven to meet his so- called "friend" named Butt-head. "Uh huh huh huh huh," laughed Butt-head. "Hey, yo, dude," said Satan. "Uh huh huh, hi," said Butt-head. "Now, Butt- head, how do we kill thems Kevin and Eddy?" asked Satan, while pounding his fist on the table. "So... uh huh, I don't know, huh huh," chuckled Butt-head. "'K...," responded Satan. "Uh... bye... heh heh," said Butt-head, "oh and good- bye," said Satan. At Hell, Kevin grabbed his hat and found Satan. "Where... have you been?" asked Kevin. "Oh... just... meeting with my friend," replied Satan. "Damn!" yelled Kevin, he spung his hat like a boomerang, and the hat him Satan in the stomache and he tripped and fell. "Crap," cursed Satan. Kevin's hat spung back to him, just like a boomerang. Kevin putted his hat back on his head and left before Satan woke up again. Then Butt-head got a phone call. He answered it. "Hello?" asked Butt-head. "Have you seen the people by the names of Eddy and... Kevin?" asked the studio manager. "Uhh... uh uh huh... uhh... wait a minute, uh huh huh. Satan?! Uh huh. He's not – uh huh – here," answered Butt-head, he slammed the phone on the set. Eddy and Kevin escaped Hell. "What about me?" asked Johnny, then Satan appeared and stuffed Kevin and Eddy back in a cage. 


	7. Johnny Bravo vs Satan

"Dang... we're back in the cage," said Eddy sadly. "I know, dork, this sucks," responded Kevin. The devil sighed, "damn... I just can't find anymore friends... Butt-head... is he the only one?" asked Satan, "what an ass-hole," whispered Eddy to Kevin. "I know," responded Kevin. Satan snarled and went into an elevator to take him into Heaven, to meet Butt-head again. At Heaven, Butt-head's phone was ringing on his desk of clouds again. "Uh-huh, who's this, uh huh," asked Butt-head. "The host of the show, Guiness Book of World Records: The Tv Show," told the host. "Uh huh huh uhhh heh heheh hih...," chuckled Butt-head. "Good God Almight," said the host, he held up. Butt-head slammed the phone on the set. Satan appeared at Heaven. "Holy crap, Butt-head, what was that call?" asked Satan. "Uhhhh, uh huh huh... a call, huh huh heh," chuckled Butt-head. "Darn it!" yelled Satan. "What the "F" was it?" asked Satan. "Uh huuh, some... noting, huh huh huh uh huh huh heh huh heh heh," giggled Butt-head. Then Satan left, not replying to Butt- head's message. At Hell, Kevin told Johnny Bravo something, "uh, Johnny, I like your show," he commented, "uh... no.... check my F-ing pecks!" Johnny Bravo shouted out. Satan darted into the room. "Get back in your brig, Johnny Bravo!" yelled Satan. "You can't make me, moron," yelled Johnny Bravo. "Now!" he said. "No," disagreed Johnny Bravo. Satan snarled at him. "Get back in the damn cage!!" screamed Satan. "I disagree," disagreed Johnny Bravo again. They had a fight, panning to Kevin and Eddy looking at the fight, Kevin said "dang, Eddy, that's one hell of a fight." "Heck, yeah" said Eddy. Then Satan rammed into Johnny Bravo causing him stuck in a laundy basket. "Oh crap," said Johnny Bravo, angrily when he was stuck in a laundry basket. "Ha ha ha," laughed Satan. "Darn you, Satan," yelled Johnny Bravo. "Oh, f(bleep) you," cursed Satan. Then Satan grabed some power chips and chugged them down like Popeye and his spinach. Satan chugged them quickly, so then, he was stronger. He powed Johnny Bravo through a pipe that leads to a garbage dump. Johnny was yelling, he finally plopped on a big pile of rancid fishsticks in the dump with the garbage dump lid clanging on him. "Oh no!" yelled Eddy, "he's got 'im." 


End file.
